Post-Date App Vyctm Allows Users to Easily Swipe to Accuse Date of Assault
Today's dating climate is tough -- and the dating app ecosystem is crowded. You can swipe left and right to find your match or hookup if you're gay, black, Jewish, a farmer, or even a regular old white guy......but what about after a date?
Everyone knows that there are only two outcomes for a date:
- You had a great time and will probably get married; OR
- You were a victim of his unspoken power, it was assault, he should be in prison and other girls should know/he should be fired and publicly crucified in advance of any testimony
Now, there is such an app -- Vyctm was launched last week to cozy up on your iPhone next to Tinder and Grindr, (similar dating apps for business trips and drunken business trips respectively). Now, after a date where you didn't get along, or he didn't laugh at your jokes, or you both decided together that you didn't want to see each other again -- there's a way to save face!
Instead of texting your friends from your uber ride home that it just didn't work out, you can just swipe his profile down, immediately labeling him a power-monger, a pushy predator who must have misinterpreted you winking and licking your lips, or a complete bastard who assumed you might be interested in sex when you accepted his 4am invite up to his hotel room.
In extreme cases where you're worried you rushed in to bed and might be labeled slutty, there's a button that works better than the morning after pill -- it immediately brands his profile as a rapist.
The app was developed with seed money that was skillfully guilted out of Mark Wahlberg, Aziz Ansari, James Franco and an anonymous lawyer who was definitely not working for the President.