Cecil the Lion Found to Have Been Hunting Dentists in Minnesota

A key piece of the Cecil the Lion puzzle emerged yesterday when reports surfaced that Cecil had actually been in Minnesota last year hunting dentists.  Cecil, an affluent figurehead of a gaming reserve in Zimbabwe, allegedly paid guides to lure dentists away from their country clubs in hopes of skinning and decapitating them.

Hunting Minnesota dentists, while not frowned upon, is illegal and unethical.  Friends of Cecil have indicated he didn't care, and desperately wanted a dentist for his collection.  Cecil was well known for telling others he was the King, the top of the food chain, and so on.  Though Cecil tried to hijack Twitter with the hashtag, #dentistslivesmatter, the press never seemed to pick it up.

The recent findings have drawn the poaching debate into focus.  Do lions lives matter? Do dentists lives matter? Was this simply a revenge play?  Cecil's cubs couldn't be reached for comment.

The Minnesota dentist is fed up with the scrutiny, and says he doesn't even want the famous lion's head anymore.  His current plan is to attend the next Planned Parenthood convention and trade it for baby parts and Lamborghinis.